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Welcome to the paragraph that will describe me, Macey, in just a few sentences. I was born and raised in the south; Arkansas, more specifically. I regret to inform you that I have zero talents of use but I have plenty of useless ones. Example: I can play the flute and touch my tongue to my nose.

Well, that tongue thing may explain why I’m good at sucking dick, who knows? My favorite time of the day is smoking weed unless tequila comes into the picture. I enjoy masturbating until my fingers can’t move and eating out women at fancy restaurants. I like my sense of humor like I like my coffee.. Nonexistent. Just kidding, I meant black.

If you find yourself reading this, just know that I know that you’re a dirty, little freak who likes to be told what to do. Lucky for you, I’m good at giving orders. Now go ahead use your free hand to scroll down and look at all the other cool shit on here.

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